Mystery #147 – Kung Fu Battles

Joey Presents: Great Mysteries of the Universe Mystery #147 – Kung Fu Battles I am a male. This means that my twenty-third chromosome pair is made up of one X and one Y chromosome. And somewhere, locked deep within that Y chromosome all of us men have, is some gene that gives me a deep appreciation for a well-scripted good kung fu battle. Honestly, there's just something instinctive that makes me break out in a cold sweat when Neo turns to face Agent Smith. "Ooh," my DNA squeals, "He knows kung fu." But herein lies a very, very important question that I have until recently ignored. While watching Rush Hour 3 (approximately 3/8 awesome, 5/8 crappy) it hit me: there cannot actually be this much kung fu in real life. I wonder how the actual ratio of real-life kung fu to movie kung fu compares. I mean think about it. Are there, as Hollywood would have me believe, no less than five dramatic life-or-death martial arts showdowns happening at this very moment? Is someone even now improvising with local objects as weapons, perhaps while carrying on a dramatic dialogue about said combatants' tumultuous past? A wonderful fantasy, but I fear it is not so. I just don't hear about enough gang members being karate-chopped to death.