Mystery #133 – New Year’s

Joey Presents: Great Mysteries of the Universe
Mystery #133 – New Year’s

This summer my family and I went to China to look for apartments. My dad had just accepted a three year position in Suzhou, a career-making opportunity. And so I found myself in one of the most exotic countries in the world, looking at real estate. Once I had to go with my aunt and uncle to look for apartments, and it was really boring. Part of me hoped the Chinese equivalent would at least involve ninjas, even one ninja would have made a difference. Alas, there were no ninjas to be seen (typical) and apart from the slippers we had to wear to go inside, the process was perhaps more dull than before.

During our trip we flew to Beijing to see the sights. At the Forbidden City gift shop, the Chinese zodiac got brought up. “Do you know what sign you are?” asked our tour guide, Becky. I told her I was a snake, but just barely because I was born so early in the year, and would have been a dragon had I not been late. Becky then pointed out that the Chinese New Year isn’t the same as ours, and sure enough it turns out I really am a dragon after all.

Right off the bat this invalidated a lifetime of staring at placemats in Chinese restaurants. I’d sit and read the entry under snake and try to identify. “Wow, I am a deep thinker. I really am self doubting (or am I?). Hey, elegant, that’s me alright… I guess” Now I had a whole different personality, at least as far as placematology was concerned.

But there was something more than just that. The calendar is something so basic we take it for granted, mostly because although it’s not something that ALL people use, most do. Some languages have different letters, others use different sounds, but most of them have our same twelve months to learn. I had known there was a Chinese New Year, but for some reason didn’t realize in China people actually thought the year started a month later. “No, friend, my calendar says you are mistaken. We had fireworks and everything. You and your big dragon puppet are late.”

I guess it’s all supposed to be a lesson in open-mindedness or something. You say tomato, I say tomato (Yeah yeah, they’re spelled the same. Keep the jokes to yourself Bozo). If not that, there’s certainly a lesson to be learned from the people my dad works with. In the spirit of Western civilization, they take off for both American and Chinese New Year’s holidays.

The land of the free and the home of the brave. Happy New Year, everybody.