Friday, May 2, 2008

Mystery #123 – Slutty cafeteria girl

Special Edition: Great Mysteries of the ASU-niverse
Mystery #123 – Slutty cafeteria girl

Hey you,

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I haven’t seen you at the dining hall all week. I thought I saw you Tuesday, but it was just some guy in a tank top. I thought of you, though. It’s good to see you’re back. This place is always so dull without you.

Oh, was that a shiver I detected? I see you’ve noticed the air conditioning. They’ve been totally blasting it lately. I can only imagine how cold it must be over there in the corner. That tube top doesn’t seem to be very insulating (spandex rarely is, though, isn’t it? Which just makes no sense, what with the hot pink and all. You’d think that would count for something…) Still, it does go nicely with your lime green mini skirt. That was the first thing that I thought when I saw you waddle through the turnstile, was, “My, how those two completely opposite neon colors complement each other.” And it’s true, too. They bring out your eyes.

I’m not so sure about the shoes, though. Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate bright yellow as much as anyone, but are you sure they’ve got enough of a heel? I mean, four inch pumps are nice, but my mother always told me there never was a winner with heels less than six inches. I suppose I understand, though. It’s finals week and we’re all making sacrifices. I guess, all things considered, I should be wondering how you pull off looking as good as you do. Anyways, I’m off to class, but you don’t be a stranger alright? I’m telling you, another week without seeing that delightful little leopard print bag of yours and I’d just be beside myself. Ciao!

-Joey

P.S. – Your makeup looked especially nice today. I swear, you do things with purple eye shadow and glitter I’ve never even imagined.

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